Obituaries

Roger Heyworth (d. 2000)

Roger died at the end of last year just too late for any tributes to be included in the Newsletter.  At his funeral, Nigel Orchard gave this eulogy, which encapsulates Ogwash so well I include it in full:

 

We now have a few minutes to dwell on the life of our friend Roger, Dear Old Ogwash. So let me invite each of you to focus on a favourite memory you have of being with him. It may have been in a pub, at work, on a canal boat, playing cricket, ringing bells, playing card games, bridge, darts, whatever – Roger had a wide range of interests into which he threw himself with enthusiasm. And because of the sort of person he was – friendly, humorous, enthusiastic,  encouraging and entirely lacking in malice – I’m sure that most of you will be  smiling and feeling warm at the memory, despite the underlying sadness of this  occasion. And if one happy memory leads to another and you miss my remaining  words, that will be a wholly appropriate tribute to Roger and probably more fun  for you.

 

He was born in Rochdale on 11th April 1946 to parents Fred and Joy and  acquired his beloved sister Sue 3 years later. Fred moved the family into the School House at Brightwell cum Sotwell in 1949 when he became headmaster of the village primary school. Many of you will remember the warm hospitality there after peals or ringing outings to Brightwell. This was a tradition later carried on by Roger and Adie and Roger and Jenny in inviting people to stay with them and making them very welcome.

 

As was the wholly appropriate tradition at Brightwell, youngsters progressed from the choir to the ringing, and Roger did so.

 

       At Wallingford Grammar School, Roger fell in with a band of young ringers including Gerald McIlhone who also later went to Oxford. This band rang a number of peals including Roger’s first, tenor behind to multi doubles at Brightwell Baldwin in 14th Sept 1962. He also fell in with the back of a chair, dislodging a front tooth and creating a memorable component – or lack of it – in the famous Roger 100 watt wonky grin.

 

       A great interest Roger developed at school and maintained throughout his life was Mediaeval History, but he read Law when he went up to University College Oxford in 1964, a choice of subject he later regretted, though Law didn’t interfere excessively with his other activities and gave him a not untypical class of ringing degree.

 

He threw himself into the Oxford University Society of Change Ringers – the OUS – ringing scene with his usual enthusiasm as did his dear sister Sue who also became an OUS institution. His first peal for the OUS was in October ’64 at Stanton Harcourt – various minor methods.

 

He was elected Master in 1966. A contemporary describes him as “vigorous” in a succession of masters described as quiet, vigorous, affable and laid-back. There were at this time in the OUS two main subdivisions – between the heavy drinking, somewhat stroppy (but delightful when you got to know them) group and those keen to drink less heavily. Roger thoroughly enjoyed his membership of the former group, but also went out of his way to make members of the other group feel welcome and to develop their ringing. This inclusiveness continued throughout his life. A resident and able ringer described to me coming on his first tour – the Rhyl tour organised by Roger – with some trepidation because of the reputation of the non-residents, but was met with kindness and made to feel very welcome by Roger.

 

On one occasion, Roger rose to make a speech, said “Ladies and Gentlemen, I am very drunk” and slid gracefully under the table. It was a popular speech.

 

          On leaving Oxford, Roger entered graduate training with Debenhams.

 

He married Adrienne Gibson in 1969 and there followed 20 happy and fulfilled

years for this well-matched couple. It is rumoured that they tripped over a stile together on a canal holiday and the romance blossomed from there. Together they contributed a great deal to the local ringing wherever they lived. Staying at their house, one enjoyed the generous hospitality of a relaxed, friendly and welcoming couple, though Adie was quite capable of delivering strong words of admonition to Roger when the need arose, often late in the evening or the morning after. Roger always reckoned that digging the garden was a good hangover cure, but these activities were curtailed after he had dug up a large patch of Adie’s hollyhocks. His second wife, Jenny, wisely kept him out of the gardening.

 

        Adie and he started married life in Epsom, but work for Macro took them first to Derby and then back to his birthplace where Nicola and Robin were born. For a time, Roger was master of the Rochdale branch of the Lancashire Association.

 

        A long-standing bellringing friend who knew him at this time recalls – and this will rekindle memories in the many of us who benefited from his ringing instruction – that his great gift was to be ruthlessly critical whilst being devastatingly charming.

 

        Work brought Roger and Adie back down South, first to Aston then to Ashtead. In April 1979, Roger joined Adie’s family’s firm, Gibson Games. Here his major contribution was the real enthusiasm and understanding he had for board and card games, having spent hours playing them since he was quite young. Mike Gibson, the head of the firm, recalls that Roger could read the long and complicated rules of new games that were offered to them and immediately understand their dynamics and potential. Mike also appreciated Roger’s vigorous debating of issues where he would often take an extreme contrary view just to ensure a thorough discussion. Roger was very much respected for his straightforwardness and honesty by the business community in which he worked.

 

        When developing new games, however, which he did by playing them with family and friends, he was not beyond discovering rules that he had “forgotten” to tell the rest of the players, or developing rules as he went along. I recall playing a civil war game in which Adie’s army advanced slowly east out of Devon throw by throw of the dice, only to be repeatedly forced back to Exeter by a series of newly created plagues, taxes, peasants’ revolts or somesuch. She was not best pleased.

 

        Cricket was another passion. Opinions about his ability vary, perhaps affected by which team was involved. Training for the Hogwash Allstars, which played regularly at Aston, involved 2 hours at the Inn on the Green, Datchworth before each match. Roger also played regularly for the Old Freeman’s cricket club second eleven and sometimes for the first. Here he was reckoned a bowler of much skill and intelligence and formed part of a fierce opening bowling attack. He was not renowned for his batting or catching skills. Typically, Roger got involved beyond just the playing, acting as fixtures secretary for several years. In any activity it was rare for Roger just to be a spectator, and, despite his relaxed style, he was a thorough and capable organiser in many fields.

 

        Of Roger’s many canal holidays, his crew members mostly remember his ability to mass produce excellent fried breakfasts. Unlike another artiste of the canal breakfast, he is thought never to have caused any serious conflagrations, though the smoke generated was a sight to behold and the ceiling ended up covered with condensed fat.

 

        Of his bridge, people remember his enthusiasm and honest approach rather than any great skill, but it was something he continued to enjoy right up to the last stages of his illness.

 

        Tragedy struck in March 1989 when his beloved wife Adie died. She had undergone radiotherapy in the early 80’s and had had several years of remission, but the disease struck again in about 1986. Adie fought and belittled it bravely and Roger maintained his usual positive and cheerful attitude for her benefit and the family’s. But close members of the family saw Roger’s mask slip occasionally and the real pain he was suffering showing through.

 

        Through this period, Roger and the family were increasingly supported by Jenny Bridgwater, a local ringer, and they married in this church in October 1991. Jenny was able to help him live with his loss and return to the frantic round of ringing, canals, pubs, curries, cricket, board games, darts etc in which every day of the week had its regular activities.

 

        I have only time to pick out some highspots of his ringing career which was distinguished both in the range of his ringing ability and the immense amount he put back into the exercise through teaching, running towers and holding Association offices. He was a district master for the Guildford Guild and Guild Master 1984-1993. At one stage he was running the ringing at both Epsom Common and Ashtead. His first peal as conductor was Yorkshire Major in April 1966.His first peal for the College Youths was Glasgow Major at Putney in September 1968. He rang in 23 spliced Surprise Major silent and non-conducted and scored an OUS peal of Orion at Guildford in July 1992.

 

        His last peal         was Rutland Royal at Southampton on 12th October 1996 and 2 days later he had to start on a further course of chemotherapy.

 

        In May 1994 he had been told that a bowel condition for which he had been receiving treatment had turned cancerous. An operation followed and major surgery within a year. From then on until his death on 13th December last, Roger was rarely free from chemotherapy, serious physical inconvenience and, increasingly, pain, though the skilled treatment by the Royal Marsden gave periods when he could enjoy most of his usual activities and prolonged his life beyond many peoples’ expectations. An increasing burden was lovingly borne by his wife Jenny, as Roger needed a lot of physical support latterly.

 

        It was during the years of his illness that his friends and family came to realise the real strength of character and courage behind the laughing cavalier surface. He bore serious pain and increasing restrictions with little complaint and maintained his positive attitude. He continued to be excellent and rewarding company and his love of cricket, though now only as a television spectator served him well. One of the team clergy from here was on one of his visits and asked Roger what he would like him to pray for; “For rain” said Roger, “or we’ll lose this Test.” Fittingly, Roger rang here for the last time for Evensong in September.

 

        In putting together these words, I have been greatly impressed and touched by the large number of people who have expressed their great friendship and admiration for Roger, pleasure from his company and gratitude for his help and support.

 

        So let me end this all too sketchy tribute where we began, recalling his magnetic personality, his shouts of laughter and his ability to turn everything into great fun. The memories of these will live with us over the years and continue to make us smile and feel good.